Friday, October 26, 2012

I've recently retitled my manuscript as: Edison's Ghost Machine. It's taken me many years to replace the original title [Alice] which was obviously a placeholder. It's the perfect title. When Edison was a little boy he performed many experiments in his basement. Every spare penny he earned would be put towards chemicals. He labelled all of his chemical bottles as "poison" to ensure no one took his precious belongings. A carved pumpkin is rotting downstairs, and so-- nectar fueled flies are slowly multiplying. I've always wondered whether fruit flies are merely drawn to rotted fruit, or if they are born from the fruit itself. Speaking of food sanitation and pests, I, as of today, am officially licensed as a food handler in the state of New York. One more victorious step in the tedious line of food bureaucracy. I do understand the need for all these regulations for public health, but part of me adores the thought of the old days, when peach cobblers were sold straight from a sunny kitchen. God, lately I've wanted a house so badly. A porch, a yard, a quiet, a warmth, an herb garden, and a million little hiding places all my own. A large part of my motivation lately is the thought of saving up to buy the cutest little house. I was sitting in Starbucks today and writing my usual to-do lists that ramble off into several intimidating pages. A man approached me to compliment how lovely my script was. How rare and nice to receive a compliment from a strange man that I can actually acknowledge with gratitude, turn my head to and smile. I was derailed tonight from productivity with some unsettling personal news. One thing I've learned and put into practice (most of the time) is to wait to write a letter or make a phone call until you've calmed down and dissolved yr histrionic state. And although that may breed inaction, it more importantly prevents over reaction. Lastly, I am on my 17th day of a new diet. I'm attempting to last 30 days total, and it consists of: no meat, no fish, no milk/cheese/eggs/any diary, no white bread/rice/pasta/sugar (only whole grain versions), no chemicals/diet soda/artificial sweeteners, and limited oils/fats. I've watched an abundance of documentaries about nutrition and have been scared off of many things. I am also running a 5k 6 days a week. While I am being strong on this new diet, I'm a bit disappointed in the meager weight loss I've achieved, and the fact that I still seem to require 8 hours of sleep a night. Out of all things I am desperately craving fish, and to satisfy that I've found myself nibbling on dried sea kelp, to get a taste of the briny ocean. Perhaps this is the inner Pisces in me, desiring this, or the fact that I descend from island women, or maybe just the fact that salmon is absolute tastiness. One interesting thing I heard about in the documentary Food Matters [watch it for free online here], is that a super high dosage of vitamin B3 (Niacin) can aid immensely in reducing depression symptoms. While vitamin therapy is highly discredited in the medical community, I think there is at least the possibility of a positive result, and with the worst possible scenario being little to no side effects with no results. I detest medicine and don't even like taking the occasional tylenol unless I am doubled over in pain. Perhaps this is the rebellious side of me, having grown up in a medical family, but as much as I adore scientific advancements, I cannot get on board with chemical concoctions ingested into my system. The human body seems too perfect a system, already, maybe. Anyway, this B3 vitamin therapy has made me want to hold down all of the severely sad people in my life (of which there seem to be many) and feed them it until they are better.